Live your life like it matters

Posted by: admin  :  Category: Neuro Semantics, Personal Development

Last weekend I met a close friend who shared with me just how “stressful, tiring and burdensome” life is. She talked about her children who she was worried about, afraid that they might be negatively influenced by “pockets of unethical behaviors” in society. She was worried about her future, if her children would look after her when she got old.  She was worried about her current challenges and “issues” that she faced, which interestingly, she attributed to “retribution from on high” for her past errors. She talked about her childhood and how family issues, even in her adult years, have left her feeling like a “scapegoat”.  She just oozed “a stream of consciousness” of fear, regret, subtle anger, apathy and uncertainty.

 

“I have tried to drown my sorrows but they’ve learned how to swim!”

 

Two days ago, I was awakened by the voice of a DJ over my radio alarm, trying to counsel a desperate caller. The topic of discussion was “Can you trust your man?” OK, I admit the whole thing sounded so “soap opera” like, but hey, that’s what most folks call “entertainment” today. So here’s this caller talking about her past relationship which left her disappointed and “broken” but now she was with this “guy” which treated so well that she found it hard to believe! She still “hung on” to her old disappointments and “hurts” that became her filter to see and engage this “fantastic new guy”. And this left her somewhere in “nowhere land”, between wanting to be loved and engaged on one hand and wanting to be safe from being hurt again, which meant hanging on to her nagging doubts, suspicion and anxiety! It reminded me of Elvis Presley’s hit song, “Suspicious Mind”!

 

“Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.”

- Kahlil Gibran 

       

This kind of lead me to the question, “Are we living life like it matters?” That the universe has put us here for a purpose, to self actualizes. Or are we living like it does not really matter? Simply surviving from day to day, walking around in a fog of fear, doubt, apathy and anxiety about the future, while dragging around the regrets and “emotional pain” of the past? Living life defeated, living life in regret, living life simply waiting for “something” to happen…and when it does, we quit!   

 

 

“In the great scheme of things, what matters is not how long you live, but why you live, what you stand for, and what you are willing to die for”

 - Paul Watson

 

I believe that living life “like it matters” is challenging simply because we seem to get caught up with the DRAMA and TRAUMA of our everyday “steam of consciousness”. We live out the drama of our “lost opportunities” and unmet needs, our petty concerns and strategies to gain what we perceive we have not got enough of or are entitled to “feel OK”, loved or appreciated. .   

 

“The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.”

- Albert Einstein

 

On the other hand we continue live out the traumas of our past, unconsciously personalizing and identifying with them, allowing them to define our identities, the limits of our potential, our capabilities and skill until they extinguish our passion, our purpose and darken the possibilities of our future. Remember the story of my dear friend at the start of this article or the caller on the radio? Perhaps these experiences may remind us of our very selves; remind us of our very own “traumatic scripts” that we tirelessly story ourselves with until they become our neuro–linguistic and neuro-semantic “realities”, leading us to live life “impacted” by drama and trauma rather than living to impact!

 

 

We have to make a choice; and it is simply this, to either live a life of “compensation” or a life of contribution and self actualization!  To live leashed or unleashed!

  

 “Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”

- Kahlil Gibran

 

So what does it mean to live like it matters? I guess that deep down; we all kind of know what it means. I bet my dear friend or the caller over the radio had dreams to live life unstoppable. They may have been much younger then, passionately engaged with a cause, an endeavor, a hobby, a skill, an interest, etc. that was all consuming, engaging and which kept them awake at night with dreams of possibilities.

 

Along the way, “stuff” happened, folks who claimed “to know better” may have told them to “get real” and “grow up”, “significant others” may have let them down and suddenly life lost most of its possibilities. They may have felt that “living life like it matters” does not really matter anymore. Perhaps it is better to “fly below the radar”, not to take risks, live safe, avoid getting hurt or disappointed again. To live leashed to fear, doubt, regret, sublet anger, cynicism and a “suspicious mind” that believes even the universe is conspiring against them! Living leashed to degraded meanings, to a concoction of self sabotaging beliefs and cognitive distortions that blinds us of our true potential and the vision of possibilities!       

 

“Unleashing your potentials to become the best you can become is the vision of self actualization.”

- “Unleashed” L. Michael Hall Ph.D

 

 “A new vision is emerging of the possibilities of man and of his destiny… For centuries human nature has been sold short.”

- Abraham Maslow 

 

Abraham Maslow was absolutely right. At any given day, we meet individuals living small, living like it does not matter, just “getting by” and surviving. To this, Abraham Maslow, the International Society of Neuro- Semantics headed by L. Michael Hall Ph.D and a host of its Certified and Licensed Trainers offer the vision of self actualization! Not just a vision but a path to living unleashed, to breaking free of our own inner prisons and to live like it matters! Would you like this? Do you desire this?  Are you open to it? Are you really?  

 

 

“There are other prisons of the mind, prisons of the body and emotions….the prison of approval, the prison of the past….the future….the prison of the intellect….fear…..prohibitions.”

- “Unleashed” L. Michael Hall Ph.D

 

If your answer is “yes” to the above, then you may just be “stirring” or “waking up” to the possibilities of living like it matters. Many are not open to it simply because it involves taking risks. They love the security of their current reality, their prison that promises them “a painful, limiting but predictable” existence. Are you willing to take that step? If you answer is yes, read on. 

 

“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.”  

- Mohandas Gandhi

 

What then, would “living life like it matters” require? While this article does permit the time, length and “place” for the dynamics to spell it out (it would take a whole workshop!), allow me to simply specify three fundamental mental frame works that forms the foundation of “living life like it matters”:

 

 

1. The mental frame of self authorship

Who is driving your bus? Are you creating your inner meanings or are they the ones you inherited; “sold” to you by the set backs of life, by the “cruelty” and fickle opinion of others? Do you desire to be the author of your life, your thoughts, your beliefs, understandings, values and behavior? To do so, you must assume total self-responsibility. Blame and victimhood, the “evil twins” of self – responsibility, must be aborted.  This is the key to becoming the “authority” and author of your life. It allows you to assume fill ownership of yourself. Are you brave enough for this? Brave enough to assume the powers of your own God given meaning making abilities?        

 

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.” 

- Mohandas Gandhi

 

2. The mental frame work of “exponential passion”

Do you have the passion to be all that you can possibly be? Are you seduced by the presupposition that you were created to be “fully alive”, living a life of contribution and not compensation? Have you a compelling reason, meaning and purpose to live for? What keeps you awake at night? What juices you?

 

When you discover this, you experience “exponential passion”, that “flow” state that makes “small stuff” of the struggles that the common person is concerned with. You are consumed by what you love, you become passionately committed as it calls forth the best in you, actualizing your full potential! You are alive with the tsunami of “exponential passion”, that seismic force, which will keep you moving ahead with meaningfulness! 

 

“The glory of God is in man fully alive”.

- St. Irenaeus

    

3. The mental frame work of resilience

Let’s be honest. Life will bring us challenges. We will get knocked down. We will face difficulties. Scott Peck in his book, “The Road Less Travelled”, tells us “Life is difficult. This is the great truth, one of the greatest truths – it is a great truth because once we see this truth, we transcend it.”  Folks who choose the path of self –actualization have embraced this truth and transcend it. This gives them the attitude of resilience!

 

With this, obstacles in our path can never really stop us; they would simply excite and become opportunities to evolve, stretch and expand our potential. As in soccer, it is the game that you came back from two goals down to win that offers the greatest pleasure, mental strength and self efficacy!  That’s the power of resilience, the “emotional and mental shock absorbers” that allows you to live the moment, to live with exponential passion and actualizing your highest and best intentions! It makes you unstoppable!   

 

“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.”

- Muhammad Ali

 

We are created for greatness. We are created to live life like it matters by our creator. We are here to call fort and bring to realization the beauty that resides in us. To contribute, actualize and be the best that we can be! Perhaps then and only then would we realize that one person, you, can make the difference! Live life like it matters! 

 

 

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”

- Mohandas Gandhi

 

Stay committed to transcending, transforming and transferring value back to your world!

Conrad Rozario is the founder of Alchemy Resources, a cutting edge human potential and peak performance development company. He has more than 15 years experience in people development from the diverse fields of Sales, Marketing, Customer Engagement and Service, Business Management and Talent Development. He is a Certified & Licensed Neuro Semantics and Neuro-Linguistics Programming (NLP) Trainer from the International Society of Neuro – Semantics, USA, a Master Practitioner in Neuro Semantics and NLP (ISNS, USA) and a Language and Behavior Profiling for Coaching Practitioner. He holds a MBA from Gordon University, Illinois, USA.

You can follow Conrad on facebook!

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