“Dominion”

Posted by: admin  :  Category: Neuro Semantics, NLP, Personal Development

 The word “Dominion” conjures ideas of power, influence and absolute control, be it over a situation, a group, another individual, an area or even an outcome. The dictionary defines it as control or the exercise of control; sovereignty, total rule, authority and subject over.  

 

 This same word appears at the very beginning of the Hebrew Scriptures, “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”(Gn. 1:26)

 

 

It also appears, in its synonymous form, in the Quran, “It is He who made the ships subject to you, that they may sail through the sea by His command; and the rivers He has made subject to you. And He made subject to you the sun and the moon, both diligently pursuing their courses; and the night and the day He has made subject to you. And He gives you of all that you ask for.” (Qur’an 14.32-34)

 

And ever since then, man has quested for dominion not only over the earth and its resources but over each other too! His dominion over the earth, from tree to wild beast, has been barbaric, tilting its ecology dangerously. His quest for dominion over his fellow man is equally relentless and ruthless. From world wars, civil wars, tyrannical suppression and merciless ethnic cleansings to political, economical and religious manipulation and colonialism, man have insidiously craved for it.   

 

 “Religion, the dominion of the human mind; Property, the dominion of human needs; and Government, the dominion of human conduct, represent the stronghold of man’s enslavement and all the horrors it entails.”

- Emma Goldman

 

 Where does man get the “permission” to do so?

 

If the scriptures hands man “dominion” over the earth, it certainly does not give him dominion over his fellow man. If anything, he is required, encouraged and commanded to SERVE his fellow man and any position of leadership or governance is placed strictly in this context. In fact man will be judged according to this “golden rule”…and yet, man seeks dominion over his fellow man; “man” being you and me.  

 

 If we care to take a closer look at our daily lives, be it in our relationships at the work place, in our immediate or extended family, in an organization or social club, we seek the same dominance, be it overtly or subtly, in a big or small way. Perhaps we may not seek “dominance” but we certainly seek to influence proceedings enough to get things done our way and to meet some, if not all, of our outcomes. I catch myself doing this many times. How about you?

  

We live in a culture that canonizes the “virtue” of control, of being in charge and having the power to influence others to get what we want. Thousands of seminars and workshops are marketed by the “gurus of influence” to teach us the “secret” to controlling and influencing others and to get the life that we want, the good life: to look good, feel good and have the goods. Many even profess to have the secret to control the universe, to bring it to our knees and be our “genie” that presents us what we want and desire. Don’t most of us desire such power, to have things go just the way we want them to go?

 

 

 

“Nothing is more gratifying to the mind of man than power or dominion.”

- Joseph Addison

  

It provides us the illusion that this “control and dominion” will solve all our problems, remove our hurts, gain us our dreams, medicate our dysfunctional habits and liquidate our limiting beliefs. The “solution” to our “pain” or “issues” lies out there: with someone we admire, dislike, blame, hate, and feel victimized by or who we need to gain some measure of revenge, retribution and repentance: having dominion will gain us this.      

  

Why?

 

Because we are seduced by the rumor that if we were to have total control and dominion over our externals, be it events, circumstances, the opinions of others, their thinking, choices, decisions and actions, we would be able to be happier, be more effective, productive, be pain free and get what we want, when we want it and the way we want it. Somehow believing that what is outside us, is the “creator” of our well being, sanity and happiness.    

 

“Everybody thinks of changing humanity, but nobody thinks of changing himself.”

- Leo Tolstoy

  

Have we not labored tirelessly to this end? Struggled constantly, lived in a state of stress and tension, desperately trying to have some measure of control and dominion?

  

Has it not kept us distracted, away from the only place where our true power and dominion lies, the place where we can effect change, be pain free, determine our happiness and peace of mind? The place where we can be a co creator, enjoying dominion over the very source and resources that can change our world….our very selves! If ever we are required to have “dominion” over any human person, that person is our very selves!

 

Why?

 

Because the ultimate source of power lies within us and questing to have dominion over it ensures us our own well being, the well being of other and right stewardship over the earth…a power given to us by our Creator. 

  

“There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority and control, your mind and your mouth”

- African Proverb

  

What is this “ultimate source” of power?

 

The freedom and right to create our own beliefs, attitudes, values, understandings, direction, rules, likes and dislikes. It’s called our personal power which lies in the FOUR prime faculties given to us and by which we use to mould and create our inner reality: the power of thought – thinking, speech – words, emotion – feelings and action – behavior. When these powers are synergize, they produces the most potent power that can change anything, the power of CHOICE. These are the powers of “creation” given to us by our Creator as co-creators.    

  

 

“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence,
but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”

- Anna Freud, Austrian psychologist

  

Abdication of personal power.

 

The sad truth however is that most of us choose not to exercise dominion over these powers of our internal reality. Instead we choose to play the “power-less” game of wanting to have dominion, influence and mastery over everything external “out there” in order to create our own peace of mind, well being, self esteem, meaning, fulfillment, happiness, etc. Then when we are unable to do so, we resort to playing the blame game, the helplessness game, the “you are responsible” for my feelings and well being game, “the world just does not care for me” game, “people owe me” game, “life is not fair” game, “God does not love me” game, etc.

 

Whatever these games may be, they all have one thing in common: their primary focus is on “power failure”, ones failure to recognize where ones true power lies, in oneself, in having the freedom and choice to CREATE the attitudes and beliefs that serve us from the inside out. The irony however is that we use these very powers, unawares, to create the very “games” that work against us…all because we fail to have dominion over them. 

  

“You can have no dominion greater or less than that over yourself.”

 - Leonardo da Vinci

  

Abdication of peace of mind and well being.  

  

Most of us are unaware that everything in our lives is the result of something we have created by a specific action (be it the creation of a thought, a limiting belief, presupposition, expectation, rules, understanding, etc.) promoted it by some other kind or type of action or allowed to come into existence by the absence of an action or by some other means. “The words are create, promote and allow” (“Authenticity” by George & Sedena Cappannelli)

  

I love the description given above by George and Sedena Cappanelli, the words “create, promote and allow” which describes the way, the mechanism or modus operandi by which we use our “personal power” to create our own “ill” when we fail to have dominion over them.

 

“To the question of your life you are the answer,
and to the problems of your life you are the solution.”

- Joe Cordare

  

Just stop for a moment and ask yourself, aren’t most of our problem “created” by us, by the way we have represented an “experience”; interpreted it and created a limiting belief or beliefs about ourselves, our worth, potential and capability from this very interpretation? We then form further limiting beliefs about others, the world, work, family, love, our future, God, etc from this set of beliefs.

  

  

Once done so, we take it to the “next level” by promoting limiting expectations and rules from these beliefs which generate a restricted way of thinking, feeling, talking and behaving. Finally we allow it to be perpetuated by habitually dwelling on them while avoiding any evidence or information that may invalidate our “sacredly held” limiting beliefs, defending and justifying them while playing the “blame”, “you are responsible for my well being” or “I’m helpless” game.  

  

“Ninety per cent of the world’s woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves — so how can we know anyone else?”

-Sidney J. Harris

  

Projection: the source of our illusion.  

  

Once we have done this, we then “project it out” into the world, into the external reality, and then try our best to control and have dominion over the external reality to avoid the pain that we believe “it brings us” or access the “pleasure” it owes us.

  

“Be careful – the darkness you see in another’s heart might just be a reflection of that which is in your own heart”

- Teachings of theTemple

 

We use these “projected reality” as our perceptual filters to view and interpret everything that happens externally, unaware that it’s our perceptual filters, and not what’s happening out there, that is either bringing us pain or pleasure: our meanings, beliefs, expectations, rules, understandings, etc. which we have created by the mechanism of “create, promote and allow”!

  

 

“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.”

- Zen Proverb

  

The good news!

  

The good news however is that we can use this same mechanism to embark on the adventure and quest to have dominion over that which we are supposed to have dominion and mastery over: our very selves!

 

What are we specifically called to have dominion over? Our beliefs, attitudes, feelings, understandings, conclusions, rules, expectations, etc., in short everything that is happening inside us, in our entire neurology! It is this domain that we have the capability, resources and mandate to be in charge of and enjoy dominion!  

 

 “Your real self – the ”I am I” – is master of this land, the ruler of this empire. You rightfully have power and dominion over it, all its inhabitants, and all contained in its realm.”

 - Robert Collier

  

That is our real mission and calling, to break through the illusion that we need to have dominion over others in order to be happy. If we choose to remain in the “control of others” game, we can be assured of a life of constant tension, stress, distraction, blame, helplessness, and pain….and it never will stop because it’s just not possible! If we choose to have dominion over ourselves, we will begin a journey to authenticity, claiming our powers to accept responsibility for our own well being, unleashing our full potential and creating the attitudes and beliefs that serve us well from the inside out, while remaining sane and emotionally free!  

 

 

 “No one is more interesting to anybody than is that
mysterious character we all call me, which is why
self-liberation, self-actualization, self-transcendence,
etc., are the most exciting games in town.”

- Robert Wilson

 

Come, join me in this adventure!  

 

I hope you’ll “reflectively enjoy” this clip from the movie Rocky, talking about the “stuff in the basement” and his struggle to have dominion over it: a great metaphor of our quest for dominion over our very selves!            

  

Rocky Balboa – Stuff In The Basement (Subtitles Available)

 

 

Think RADICALLY and stay committed to transcending, transforming and transferring value back to your world!

 

Catch new blogs fortnightly at let us know what you think below.

  

Conrad Rozario is the founder of Alchemy Resources, a cutting edge human potential and peak performance development company in Malaysia. He has more than 15 years experience in people development from the diverse fields of Sales, Marketing, Customer Engagement and Service, Business Management and Talent Development. He is a Certified & Licensed Neuro Semantics and Neuro-Linguistics Programming (NLP) Trainer from the International Society of Neuro –Semantics,USA, a Master Practitioner in Neuro Semantics and NLP (ISNS,USA) and a Language and Behavior Profiling for Coaching Practitioner. He holds a MBA fromGordon University,Illinois,USA.
 

 

“C 4″

Posted by: admin  :  Category: Neuro Semantics, NLP, Personal Development

Have you ever had one of those days when “suddenly”, for no apparent reason, you experienced an “emotional melt down”? When you felt power–less, insecure, unsure and filled with self doubt and self recrimination all at once?  When old toxic beliefs, understandings and memories flooded your awareness and your body got “locked down” with the corresponding painful emotions?

 

Have you had one of those days?

 

I call them “C 4” experiences. Why? Simply because C 4 is a kind of plastic explosive used frequently in the military which, when detonated, produces a nasty explosion with devastating effects….much like an “emotional melt down” experience!

 

 

I had one of those days last week. I was on my way to a business meting with a client when “suddenly” while driving, something in me triggered a “C 4” experience! Boom! My mind began to spiral downwards with self doubts and toxic self beliefs; old memories of “failures” and limitations began playing in my mind as “evidence” as the volume of my self recriminating self talk became excruciatingly deafening! In an instant, I became emotionally flooded with pain!

 

“What holds you back? For most of us, it’s those “dangerous conversations” we have with ourselves.”

 - Suzanne Falter-Barns

 

The funny thing about such “C 4” experiences is that they tend to keep spiraling downward and at the same time keep looping, much like an “auto replay” function on our stereo equipment: we go round and round with the same toxic thought and emotions. We get caught in “muddle” and the more we try to get out of it, the more strongly its hold! Exhausting! 

 

 

“When negative self-talk robs us of our enthusiasm for our dreams, we’re suffering from the classic creative block… Self-criticism can seriously injure potential talent that wants to be expressed.”

- Douglas Eby

 

Have you had such “C 4” experiences?

 

Here’s the thing with such experiences…everyone has them! Yes, everyone. The key however is developing the ability to master them by being able to get out of such “negative mental loops”, “muddles” or “C 4” experiences.

 

How can we do this?

 

1) Develop and keep developing a high level of CONSCIOUSNESS.

 

Firstly, consciousness is not “thinking” or “thinking about our thinking”. It is a state of awareness, of being “awake” and observing our mental thoughts in the present: being in the “now”. It is the ability to take a “mental step back”, observe and witness our thoughts and emotions in a non judgmental or self recriminating way.

 

This can be easily be learned and done.

 

Stop right now and ask yourself what are you thinking and feeling at that very second.

 

Go on, try it.

 

Simple enough, right?

 

Well what you find out, that which you have been thinking about, might amaze or even surprise you as most of us are on “auto-pilot”. We have so many cognitive habits, distractions and noise in our lives that’s it’s important to “check in” with our inner self and become conscious of them, conscious of the mental map out of which we are functioning from. So keep practicing this simple technique: “stepping back”, observing and witnessing our thoughts. 

 

“The only mistake that we can make as human beings is to be asleep, unaware of ourselves.”

- Guy Finley

 

When you learn to develop higher levels of consciousness, you’ll be able to stop yourself before you ever get into one of those “C 4” experiences and gently stepping out of our old habits of thinking!

 

It is here that two powerful Neuro Semantic NLP presuppositions come into play: “Our mental maps are not the territory (reality), it is but a map, a symbolic representation of the territory. And we respond according to our map(s) of reality, not reality”. This simple technique helps us become aware of our old maps and to step out of them.     

 

“No truly conscious human being sabotages himself – it’s impossible, because it’s contrary to Nature.”

- Guy Finley

 

2) Avoid “labeling” yourself for having a “C 4” experience.

 

The problem is never the problem. It is the way we have interpreted the problem, the experience, and labeled ourselves, that makes the “problem” a problem! Once we say to ourselves, “I such a hopeless person…..I just hate it when this happens…I must get my self out of this stupid crap”, we are providing the “muddle” with more mental energy to perpetuate itself.

 

Remember the Neuro Semantic NLP presupposition: “Energy flows where attention goes as directed by intention”. Whenever we “label” an experience, we channel attention to it and the “label” used provides the intentional energy. Example; when we “label” the “muddle” as “crap” and ourselves as “hopeless” we give it the energy of “attention” and the command to “get myself out of this crap” gives it the power of intention…the perfect combination for creating internal conflict!

 

When you feel down; make a point to say JUST THAT:  I feel down. When something negative rolls into your life, label it as the intruder, not yourself as its victim….labels stick – so be very, very careful how you label yourself.”

- Author Unknown

 

Learning not to label ourselves or our experiences is another key that will help reduce “C 4” experiences simply by cutting off its “power supply” provided by attention and intention.

 

 

 

3) Develop and maintain a high sense of self acceptance, self appreciation and love.

 

This is the ultimate source of our personal power, equilibrium and unlimited possibility. Personal power here is in reference to our “inner sense of strength” that cannot be taken away, that’s inherent in us and which flows form self love. Its source is from our dignity and esteem in being created in the image of God, being created with all the resources to be successful, uniquely us and unrepeatable. We need to learn to fall in love again with this true self: this is true personal power!

 

“Only when I was able to accept myself unconditionally was I able to truly love.”

- Alison Stormwolf

 

Two Neuro Semantic NLP presuppositions echo this truth: “People have all the resources they need: they just need to access, strengthen and sequence them. And there’s an abundance of personal resources, plenty for all”.     

 

“Look into your own eyes and say “Yes, I am a good person.”

- Alison Stormwolf

 

Money, reputation, and possessions have no personal power because they can disappear anytime. Nor can good looks count, since they can easily be “disfigured” by time, aging, injury, or illness. Even ones skills and abilities; how well you speak, do business, cook, handle finances, play sports, negotiate big deals in sales, teach, etc. can be lost, destroyed or stolen by circumstance. These are “false” powers.

 

“I cried out in the pain of my dark night for mercy. He told me, “Love yourself.”

- Alison Stormwolf

 

Stop now and attempt to do this simple exercise, honestly ask yourself: 

 

Do you REALLY love yourself unconditionally?

Do you treat yourself as kindly as you would a stranger or a friend?

Are you able to extend to yourself a deep sense of acceptance, appreciation, forgiveness, compassion, understanding and generous forbearance: willing to explore your possibilities, follow your heart, trust your intuition and claim your true power owning you?  

 

“Loving myself has been such a challenge.”

- Alison Stormwolf

 

The constant practice of self acceptance, appreciation and love, coupled with a high level of consciousness, the ability to mentally step back and witnessing our thoughts in a non judgmental way, and not labeling our experiences or ourselves are the very ingredients that from the “magic spell” that eventually removes old habits of self sabotage, our “C 4” experiences; providing us with the antidote to get us out of such spirals and “muddles”.   

 

 

Here’s a simple pattern we can use whenever we get caught in a “C 4” experience:        

 

1.  Accept what I’m feeling. I gently step back and just witness these thought and feeling, comforting and loving myself. Yes, it can seem scary but its just old patterns of thoughts, doubts, fears and emotions: Just Old Maps. 

 

2. I don’t label the experience or myself. They are only emotions and emotions are neither right nor wrong. I allow it to just slide away. I remember that they only hurt me when I give into them; giving them the power of my attention and intention.  

 

 

“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white.  Neither need you do anything but be yourself.”

- Lao-Tzu

 

3. I turn my attention to the power within me, to whom I really am. I practice self acceptance, appreciation and love. I am my greatest gift and source of real power.  

 

4. I access my vision of my life as I really want it – LOOK AT WHERE I WANT TO BE – my empowering beliefs, imagination, meanings and positive emotions that come with them. (For more information on how to create a compelling outcome for yourself and to be solution focused, check out my recent blog, “Vinegar or Honey”.)  

 

5. I access these positive emotions, amplify them and step into them NOW; I being to experience them in the most powerful way, seeing what I am seeing, feeling what I am feeling and hearing what I am hearing.

 

“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.”

-Yogi Bhajan

 

6. Take action that supports my new beliefs to stay present in my own personal power. Staying fully empowered in the NOW.

 

Now, once you get a hang of the above, you can start to get creative in interrupting your “C 4” experiences and patterns of thinking. You can do it with any kind of “crazy” unexpected or sudden movements or response. Imagine being a “pest” to someone who is trying to tell you a story by constantly interrupting him by asking “stupid” questions, making funny noises, getting up and dancing, slamming a door, tapping a tune with your finger tips or whistling a nursery rhyme so much so the person just can’t continue or remember what he she wanted to say in the first place!

 

 

“And now, excuse me while I interrupt myself.”

- Murray Walker

 

Well, you can get that creative with yourself and interrupt your old pattern or strategy of thinking that puts you in a unresourceful “C 4” state/experience. Some of the things that you can do to interrupt your states can be humor and laughter, choosing to see the funny side of things, which can be an awesome “C 4” stopper. Recalling a fast beat tune and singing it loud, going for a walk, changing your physical posture (suddenly standing up, moving to a different location or even stretching) can also serve as effective interrupters.

 

Almost every person experiences “C 4” experiences. Most of the time, they act like an “echo” of our old negative patterns of thinking and feeling that have become bad cognitive habits. Habits can be useful, they put our brains on “auto pilot”, meaning that it become so efficient that it become an unconscious pattern; leaving our conscious mind “free” to focus else where. Habits, however, can be “bad news” when it comes to our old negative patterns of thinking and feeling; producing in us “C 4” experiences that seem to “suddenly” descends on us and “grab” us by the throat!

 

“It’s been quite a ‘pattern interrupt’, a massive change of the old programming.”

- Kenny Loggins

 

The 3 principles explained above coupled with the 6 step pattern and the examples of interrupts can help not only to manage such experiences but to eventually replace them with new resourceful habits of thinking, believing and feeling. Blow away your “C 4” experiences with these strategies and start running your own brains!

 

 

 

“When people believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.”

-  Norman Vincent Peale

 

I hope you enjoy this short humorous clip, a “perfect” example of how “interrupts” can restore our sanity! Have fun!    

 

 

 

Think RADICALLY and stay committed to transcending, transforming and transferring value back to your world!

 

Catch new blogs fortnightly at let us know what you think below.

 

Conrad Rozario is the founder of Alchemy Resources, a cutting edge human potential and peak performance development company in Malaysia. He has more than 15 years experience in people development from the diverse fields of Sales, Marketing, Customer Engagement and Service, Business Management and Talent Development. He is a Certified & Licensed Neuro Semantics and Neuro-Linguistics Programming (NLP) Trainer from the International Society of Neuro –Semantics,USA, a Master Practitioner in Neuro Semantics and NLP (ISNS,USA) and a Language and Behavior Profiling for Coaching Practitioner. He holds a MBA fromGordon University,Illinois,USA.