Everyday Lies

Posted by: admin  :  Category: Personal Development

Last week my wife and I had a frustrating encounter. We had a guest arriving to stay at the J W Marriot and wanted to send him a welcome bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine. So we made the necessary arrangements with our dependable florist who promised to leave the gift at the hotel for the guest when he checks in, the standard operating procedure.

 

The day arrived and we called the hotel to find out if the guest had checked in and the gift delivered. To our disappointment, the front counter staff said that she did not know. She took our details and promised to call us back. That was at 8.00pm. We did not receive any call and at 9.00pm we called again and somebody new took our call and told us the same thing, they would call us back. No call came. Then at 10.00pm we called the hotel again and to our horror were informed that the guest had checked it but did not receive any gift. She told us to hold the line and apparently checked with concierge and said that no record of a delivery was made and that she had called the guest herself at his room and he too confirmed that he did not receive any gift! It was the perfect nightmare scenario, welcome to the twilight zone!

 

We scrambled to call the florist at 10.30pm and asked her for verification. She said that she had delivered the gift herself and that it was received and documented by the hotel staff. She then told us that she would call the hotel to verify the delivery. We waited and by 11.00pm she called back and said that the very front counter person who we spoke to earlier had confirmed that the guest had received the gift! A mixture of relief and anger overcame me. I thanked the florist and decided to put on my war paint and call up the hotel myself to speak to that front counter staff. I had on my “take no prisoners” battle attitude and kicked off operation “GET TO THE TRUTH”!

 

The phone rang and the same “sweet and charming” voice greeted me with the all too stale and common hotel greetings. I took a deep breath and identified myself and asked her why she lied. WHY? That one lie had put my wife and I in a bad state. We were promised return calls that did not come, we were made to wait for more than 3 and the half hours for the matter to be resolved, were deliberately lied to with false evidence, premeditated….that she had “checked” with the concierge and the guest himself and verified the information! This I told her was unacceptable! She did try to give some excuses but I just blew them away with the truth! All she could do after that was to apologize. A five star hotel with sweet sounding and charming liars working for them as customer service agents! That is what I call a FIVE star disservice!!!

 

The next few days got me thinking about the lies people tell everyday, EVERYDAY LIES! Some researchers say that we lie 9 out of 10 times a day! We lie at work, in sales, in marketing, in advertisements, in brochures, in professional and personal relationships, in contracts, in politics, in the word of mouth agreements that we make to friends, to that special loved one, to our children, to the pastor….and even God! We lie to make ourselves to look good, make others look bad or inferior, win a deal, close a sale, win over voters, take advantage of a person or situation, get a medical certificate from the doctor to avoid work, to win a football game (the world cup is just around the corner, watch for the professional liars who will dive to win a penalty or free kick), we lie for a living, consciously or unconsciously! Just watch the clip below…..

 

 

On the other side of the coin we demand the truth! That we not be deceived and misled! A large number of us have been lied to before and cheated that we suffer from mass paranoia. That’s a double bind…..lying on one hand and suffering from paranoia on the other hand!!! Welcome to everyday lies!

 

The solution, well if religious icons, prophets and scriptures from all religious traditions have given us the resources to right living and we are still failing miserably at it, who am I to offer solutions! My task here is simply to create awareness. Awareness within myself, my thinking, my attitudes, actions, relationships and choices I make. The awareness to think the truth, say the truth and live the truth. To take responsibility for being truthful…so that the next time I say, “I love you, I missed you, I will call you, I will meet you at this time, I will be there for you, I will help you, you can count on me, call me anytime….I’ll honor these words and the person receiving them from me and to hold sacred the “golden rule”, to treat others as we would like to be treated. And when this “golden rule” is broken …. to apologize, make amends and restore trust. Want to join me?

 

Stay committed to transcending, transforming and transferring value back to your world!

 

Conrad Rozario is the founder of Alchemy Resources. He has more than 14 years experience in Sales, Marketing, Business Management and Talent Development. He holds a MBA from Gordon University, Illinois, is a Master Practitioner in Neuro Semantics and NLP (ISNS, USA), a Language and Behavior Profiling for Coaching Practitioner. You can follow Conrad on facebook!

Tell It Like A Story

Posted by: admin  :  Category: Marketing, Sales

Are you in sales? Marketing? Advertisement? Are you in training or play a leadership role in your company or family? If you are involved in any of the above, then you are involved in communication, in “connecting” with individuals or groups, impacting, impressing and influencing them to make a decision to buy into your idea, vision, service, product or even paradigm.

 

In short, it means communicating with the intention to impact, inspire and influence, leading your audience to make a decision to act in the direction you are pointing to. While many books and articles have been written on this subject with countless gurus and training programs in the market, I would simply like to share with you this short clip which sums up some essentials in effective communication. It invites us to put the fun back into communication which has become too muddled with unnecessary complicated tips, strategies and fanciful jargon! So lean back and enjoy!

The following are the 7  essential steps for you to take to communicate effectively:

  • Know your audience and their context – who are they? what are they looking for?

  • The impact you would like create – what emotional state do you want to put them in to enable you to influence them?

  • The decision you would like them to make, which is the outcome of your communication

  • Place your message in the context of a story – everybody loves stories more then mere facts, features, statics and benefits 

  • Juice it with emotions – emotions help shift the state of your audience and leads them to decision point. That is impact creation! 

  • Move your story and emotional lines according to the axis of pain and pleasure. This simply means that you start your story from the pain factor – loss, fear, lack, difficulty or challenge and move along the continuum to end with pleasure factor – gain, conquering, achieving, abundance, or over coming. Remember Hollywood?

  • Place your “spin” at the end, the decision you would like them to make aligned to the pleasure factor and not deciding in that direction with the pain factor.            

 

That’s it folks. Keep it simple, fun and uncomplicated. Communication is fun and when it is fun, your audience will be having fun and when they are having fun…..you would have them eating out of your hands!  

 

Stay committed to transcending, transforming and transferring value back to your world!

 

Conrad Rozario is the founder of Alchemy Resources. He has more than 14 years experience in Sales, Marketing, Business Management and Talent Development. He holds a MBA from Gordon University, Illinois, is a Master Practitioner in Neuro Semantics and NLP (ISNS, USA), a Language and Behavior Profiling for Coaching Practitioner.  You can follow Conrad on facebook! 

The “007 Bond” Identity

Posted by: admin  :  Category: Personal Development

“My name is Bond, James Bond.”….ah, the famous self introduction and identity line that most of us have heard and used before. You can recall the scene, Bond meets sexy babe who throws him the inevitable question, “….and who are you? Bond, James Bond!” This self introduction and identification is accompanied by high degree of self belief and esteem, meaning, confidence, charm, competency and swagger, which enables Bond to do just one thing, be himself, consistently, on and off the job, either in a tuxedo, in swimming trunks or in a life threatening situation! The power identity!

 

 

 The words of L. Michael Hall PhD, founder of Neuro Semantics, sums this well for us, “I never leave home without my Self”. Yes, we never really leave home, run a business, study, manage a career, be in a relationship, relate to another or work as a team without our self, our identity of who we are. It is from this self “identity frame” that we live. It determines the quality of all the other dimensions of our humanness…we simply can’t leave home without it! So what is identity? Do you have one?

 

Identity is how we have chosen to define ourselves; it is the given measure of the value, worth, esteem, meaning and efficacy that we have given to ourselves, to our very being. We can either think and feel of ourselves as valuable and worthwhile or hold ourselves in contempt, despising either some parts of ourselves, like our looks, body, face, intellect, or every aspect of ourselves! The ultimate villain that will even defeat Bond!

 

When this happens we can either become extremely other referent, meaning that we hang on to the opinions of others to define our identity, seeking their approval to feel OK becoming the classic “people pleaser” with an anonymous personality. Or we may choose to develop a “false” egoistic self identity which borders on narcissism, personalizing everything and putting our ego “on the line” in every situation, trying to become a “somebody”, consistently mismatching every person, situation or opinion! The inadequate, conditionally valuable and unworthy identity frame!

 

 

 We have all met or come across the teenager who identifies with gangs to have a measure of identity, the adult who makes her career her identity, the student who commits suicide when he or she fails a major exam, the parent who lacks a sufficient sense of self identity that the children become their identity, the soccer star who has two identities – the one on the pitch and the one that is addicted to cocaine or the person who consistently seem to have a civil war going on within, doubting oneself, fearing the unknown or fearing to take risks, feeling unloved or worthless, indecisive, extremely shy, frustrated and overcome by a blunt and nagging sense of being unfulfilled and incomplete! The “insecurely bound” identity! 

 

 

 While society, materialism and consumerism may choose to offer us “false identity cards” of what ones value and worth consist of, be that being a “high net individual” or a “somebody” with either a title before or after our names, the undeniable and irrefutable truth is that we have inherent value and worth, are loveable and gifted, possess dignity and esteem simply because we are human persons. The very fact you and I are human beings, we are “somebody with nothing to prove, but everything to experience…freed to be and become, to explore and enjoy and to choose to only identify with the things that enable us to become more than we presently are.” (The Matrix Model, L. Michael Hall Ph.D)

 

That’s the truth, that’s the good news! We have a solid identity! We are the image of our maker, the source of our identity! When we accept this, we would have taken the red pill…we would have awaken from our false identity frame only to discover that our inner worth already exist, inherently.

 

Want proof of this? Simply take a new born baby and place it next to a brand new BMW, a fancy title, some qualification or a multi million dollar bank account and you will see the worth of that baby, that human person, as inherent and immeasurably more valuable than any one of those things! If we can see this in babies, why not in our very selves!

 

This TRUTH frees up lots of “mental –and-emotional energy” that we may be using for “egoistic living”, for “pleasing others” or from consistently doubting and sabotaging ourselves, giving us renewed vigor to be fully alive, unashamed and unafraid to own and express our uniqueness. This is our source of our identity and security!

 

How important is this? Extremely! It will make the difference between experiencing life like a Martini in the hands of Bond “shaken and stirred” or being “The Bond” himself or herself, “un bound” by the shackles of self doubt and unworthiness. So the next time when life, or an opportunity or even a potential life partner asks you the question,” who are you?”….you’d know who you are and be ready for the time of your life!

 

Stay committed to transcending, transforming and transferring value back to your world!

 

 

Conrad Rozario is the founder of Alchemy Resources. He has more than 14 years experience in Sales, Marketing, Business Management and Talent Development. He holds a MBA from Gordon University, Illinois, is a Master Practitioner in Neuro Semantics and NLP (ISNS, USA), a Language and Behavior Profiling for Coaching Practitioner. You can follow Conrad on facebook!

Welcome to Fantasy Island!

Posted by: admin  :  Category: Personal Development

If you remember the 70’s show, Fantasy Island, you would most probably remember the famous catch phase…”The plane, the plane…”screamed by Tattoo to Mr. Roarkie to signal the arrival of another batch of folks who have arrived to literally fulfill their fantasies, for just three days. As I look back, the resemblance of this TV series was almost identical to a training situation I was in last week.    

 

The training camp in question, which I was assisting in, was held at a resort not very far from the city where folks from a local company gathered to attend a team building experience. The theme of the camp was “Together Everyone Achieves More”…..ah, the “fantasy” that the company wanted to create! The ground rules given were; make it light, easy, fun, nothing too challenging that it will awake their “slumber of ignorance”, finish early so that they can do their own thing, don’t ruffle feathers by asking tough questions, don’t get serious, don’t make it physically challenging and make them feel good, no matter what! You can imagine how productive such a camp would be……especially when they return to the “real world” of their work place! I could almost hear the words of Tattoo screaming in my head when I saw their coach arrive…..”The plane, the plane….” or rather, “The coach, the coach….”another fantasy island training camp!

 

The point I am making is this, the reason why a company should send their staff for training is because they have first identified a performance gap. A gap which is stopping them from achieving the desired levels of productivity as well as which is stopping them from actualizing their highest meaning. This creates misalignment!   

 

The training intervention serves to close this gap and create alignment at two levels, at the level of meaning, values and significance of their work which has been lost or diluted and which lies within the larger frame work of the company’s mission and specific outcome for the year. And at the level of skills, strategies and tactics which are lacking and which contributes to the performance gap. Together this creates META ALIGNMENT and produces peak performance! Of course this must be done in an atmosphere that is fun, engaging and enlightening! If you get serious, you get stupid” – is indeed one of the Neuro Semantic / Neuro – Linguistic Presuppositions! Isn’t this the primary reason why companies invest money in training camps, workshops and seminars for their staff? It should be. And this is the primary vision and mission of Alchemy Resources to provide such services in order to help individuals, communities and organizations to Transcend, Transform and Transfer value and meaningful performance back to their world.       

 

When the above is not allowed to take place, training camps soon become Fantasy Island experiences and trainers into Mr. Roarkie and Tattoo! It would be more productive to send company staff on a vacation when such subtle intentions exist. Go ahead Tattoo, ring the bell and wake me up when the next batch of folks arrive… “Welcome to Fantasy Island”!

 

Stay committed to transcending, transforming and transferring value back to your world!

 

Conrad Rozario is the founder of Alchemy Resources. He has more than 14 years experience in Sales, Marketing, Business Management and Talent Development. He holds a MBA from Gordon University, Illinois, is a Master Practitioner in Neuro Semantics and NLP (ISNS, USA), a Language and Behavior Profiling for Coaching Practitioner.  You can follow Conrad on facebook!